I never truly understood what it meant to survive cancer. Or maybe I just didn’t have my eyes open. I would just hear “so and so beat Cancer.” I would think, “Oh wow! That is great they beat it.” But what I am discovering is that it is literally a war in your body.
If you know me well, you know that getting me off a computer is next to impossible. I am always doing something. I have to. But yesterday, the drugs from the steroids were so powerful, I felt as if I was in a straightjacket. You can’t think, watch TV, write, walk around or anything. It pretty much paralyzes you, and although there are medicines to help, those do a whole other number on you. There were only two things I could do: breathe in and breathe out. So for 12 hours, that is what I did.
Guess what? The 12 hrs have passed. I am awake, feeling a little better today, and ready to tackle another day.
Lets do a quick rewind again to get to some humility for a moment. Lets talk sperm bank, shall we? The other day I was told that if I want to have children again in the future, that my love stuff needs to be banked. There is a very high chance that I will be sterile. So here is how the hospital sets the mood for this magic moment. I am hooked up to a heart monitor all over my chest, holding an IV drip in one hand, and my wiener (to use the medical term) in the other. I’m looking in the mirror at my recently shaved Cancer face, next to a toilet. Then they say, “take all the time you need, we will be back in 5 or 10 minutes.”
I have to say that a miracle somehow managed to make it happen (TMI). Then they said, “Oh, and by the way, we will need it delivered.” So I had the joy of having my parents drive my future offspring to a nearby spank bank. May the future be strong!! Sorry no pictures could be attached on this topic.
Back to today. Today is another round of steroids. I appreciate all of those wanting to visit, and look forward to being ready, but right now it honestly takes way more out of me to visit with people. I have to get my body more settled so that I can sit and have a normal conversation. For now, these postings will need to be my outlet and way of connecting. So I ask, please no surprise visits. It isn’t in my best interest right now. I do love you all and look forward to settling in a bit more soon.