I had a long talk with my Doctor and Physician Assistant today about my condition. I was questioning why and how I got this Cancer. Is it predetermined? Is it genetic? Is it diet? Is it from sitting near a telephone wire for too long? Is it because I had Mono once as a kid? Is it from Acutain?
Yes, there are some cancers that can come from your ancestry. There are certain chemicals and environmental situations that can make it more likely for you to get Cancer. But they both said with 100% belief and understanding that my Cancer is 100% random. It is part of our bodies evolving. The reality is that we all have good and bad cells. All it takes is a bad cell to get through and multiply, and Cancer now exists.
Believing that something like this is random is tough for anyone to swallow. Because it leaves the door wide open. It means there is no rhyme or reason to how I got it. The easy answer that we all naturally want to have isn’t there. My Cancer wasn’t pre-determined. It isn’t hereditary. It isn’t from my lifestyle. It isn’t my diet, it isn’t the telephone wire.
I relate my condition to a slot machine. A person sits down, puts in a quarter and pulls down the handle. A hundred people use this machine and nothing. No reaction, or change. Eventually for someone it will hit. I sit down and pull the handle and it hits, jackpot. Then a hundred people after me, nothing…
When we were were created, we were given imperfect cells by design. If we had perfect cells out of the gate, and then the environment changed but our cells didn’t, we would all die. Because our bodies do adapt and change, there are going to be kinks. It isn’t perfect. My cell got caught in the kink. It didn’t adapt.
My Cancer is a random occurrence that occurred in my body. It is as simple as a cell taking a different turn in the road. But again, just because something is “random” doesn’t mean that we can’t give it purpose. I have the power now to give it a reason.