It has been a while since I wrote on my blog. Call it writer’s block. Or just blocking out writing. Or thinking so much.
At this point, I understand what it takes to get through each new round of chemo. But I am at the beginning of what will be my biggest round. So far, it has been four very intense days. This one will last for 3-4 weeks, and I will remain in the hospital the entire time. I will admit that physically, I am a bit spent.
For example, in the past 48 hrs, I have had: 2 blood transfusions, 2 rounds of chemo, 4 bags of potassium, 2 bags of magnesium, steroids in my eyes, laxatives, Acyclovere, Mepron (which is like paint that you swallow), Lasix (to pee), and a gallon of fluid which made me gain 14 pounds of fluid (I looked like a puffer fish). On top of that, I have shared a room (which is ridiculous). When sharing a room, you don’t sleep, because the other patient’s lights go on and off, and their iv beeps throughout the night. So it has been an adventure. As I write this blog post, I am sitting in a hallway, waiting for my own room. It is 12:15 am.
This process wipes out my body, but I am proud to say it still has not broken my spirit even one percent. I am optimistic. I love the feeling of accomplishing each round. After this, there will be one more intense round next month. Then, assuming all stays on track, I transition to maintenance, which is much easier on the body. About half as intense. The doctors said that my body has handled the treatment very well. They said it has responded quicker than most, so that is good.
I feel strongly that my next chapter will be a happy story of survival, and that I will be looking back on this someday with a new celebration of life and all that it has to offer. I am so motivated to get through this, do amazing things with my life, and make a positive impact on the lives surrounding me.