As you can see, this video is very different from the last. I am up and walking again. Over the course of the day, I walked one mile in the hallway, hung out with my family, and watched the Super Bowl – all while receiving a thirty-six hour straight treatment of Chemo. I am feeling much improved.
Like every challenge in life, this process will have major hurdles. There will be more of these really down, tough moments where there is simply no relief or recovery time. But eventually the air clears. So what is my learning lesson this week? I have to trust that when things get bad, they will get better. Today is a good day. What will tomorrow bring? Got me….
I’m very grateful to have so many amazing people in my life. Your support fills me up inside. I never realized how many people cared about me. Just know that if I am not replying to your emails or comments, I am most certainly reading them when I can. I just want to make sure that I stay focused on my goal right now beating this Cancer, and don’t get caught up for hours on the computer. But again I really appreciate it, and I love you all.
Also, many of you have offered to come see me in person. I definitely look forward to having company. Right now, though, I need to keep it really simple. I have been restricting visits to my wife, sister and brother-in-law, and my parents. With my health changing so quickly, and my neutropenic levels fluxuating everyday, it is difficult to make visiting plans. Some days I can barely get my voice out, and just want to sleep. At other moments, I am sitting up, and am fine. But in the future I would like to have more of a face to face. I just need to do it at my pace. I will be sure to let you know when I find more of that balance and energy. I miss seeing all your purdy faces ;)
When I started sharing my story, I never knew who I would reach. Turns out that there is another patient here at the hospital who is undergoing the same clinical trial as me. He is a week or two behind. He was really struggling the other day, and coincidentally, his mom tore out my article in the UT for him. Afterwards, he read this blog, and said that it had a positive effect on him even reciting certain sections of it. Which in turn had a very positive effect on me.
I just met him today in the hallway, and instantly knew that he is a good man. I know he has fear. Who wouldn’t? But he also has a big heart, and that same desire to fight this cancer and beat it. He has a very nice wife supporting him and an 11 month old. His first round of treatment didn’t work out successfully like it has for me. So they will need to do alternative methods.
So this is my request. For all of you out there that have been praying for me, I would like to ask that for today, you shift all of those prayers to Pat. For those that don’t pray, just put out positive thoughts for him. Take one minute of your day and take that time out to think of him and his family. Let’s all help fight for him and his family. Today is for you, Pat. Take all that fear and convert it into strength and faith. Have trust in what is. Think only of today and not of tomorrow. Try to find some happiness in today. Its hard to do, but it keeps you sane.
In all of our lives, we won’t find happiness alone. We need support. If you are struggling, stop giving the same old, “oh, everything’s cool, same old same old.” Find someone you can be honest with. By opening up to someone, you can turn months of sadness into just a moment. Happiness comes from each other, and having good shoulders lean on. Let’s all start asking the people we care about how they are doing. Not just a hey, how you doing? More like how is your life going? Are you happy? What can I do to be there for you?
Lets spend more time really listening to each other. Let’s figure out what the people around us need to be truly happy. That way, we can execute a plan to make sure that happiness comes to fruition as quickly as possible.
One final and less serious note. I have decided that when I do beat and survive this Cancer, I am going to eat more Cinnamon Rolls, Doritos, the mini mints that you get in the movie theatre. Reese’s Pieces. I still want to eat what’s good for me, but I will definitely be incorporating those yummy treats at least once or twice a month. I ate waaaaaaaay too healthy before, and need to indulge more often. Especially cinnamon rolls. So yummy. Right now I have to be on a very strict diet, but that is a future plan :) HA. I love you all.